Sunday, October 16, 2011

Villain's guide to better living: resume builders: this is for you James ;)

When designing your resume, you may have trouble making it sound just right. Though they use the same villainous tactics, the corporate world occasionally uses different language. This is all for public relations, of course. Some examples:

Experience

Planning a bank heist becomes "project managment skills"

Inventing a weather machine becomes "history of creating an adaptable environment"

Raising an army of the dead becomes "Knowledgeable in training coworkers"

Destroying the world becomes "Highly skilled downsizing"

Escaping from jail becomes "Ability to dispense with unwanted situations"

Blocking out the sun becomes "Deflected illumination on company practices"

Reading the Necronomicon becomes "Up to date on all current literature"

Poisioning the king becomes "Assisted in transition of former managment"

Selling your soul becomes "Strong financial sense"



When they ask why do you want to work here? Be honest: Tell them "money, power, and the chance to crush my enemies." They'll like that.

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