Today I found out...or realized I have a fear (rational or not) of used, wet, nasty, gross, laying on the floor towels. In particular ones I find on the floor of the bathroom at work! I knew it was definatly not mine and I don't feel bonded enough to anyone at work to pick it up. Not with gloves. Not with tongs. Not with a hazmat suit. I found out whos used towel it was and it became infinatly worse. My reaction served as great joy for my boss and it got me thinking about some of my other fears.
1. CLOWNS!!! Horrible Evil Bad BAD!!! When I was little my loving parents took me to the circus to traumatize their first born. The evil demented clowns were going to pick a child out of the audience to dress up and take to the dark side. My mom told the story latter that I was chosen, I think she lies and I was volunteered by my mother so she would have a story to laugh about later. Anyways, my dad carried me down to the 7th circle of Hell and attempted to hand me over like a sacrifice. I did not get on with this idea and chose instead to start screaming my head off like I was being murdered (which, as far as I was concerned that was EXACTLY what was going down). Mom said my dad was horribly embarassed (he should have been!) and the clowns didn't want any part of me. THANK GOD! So dad brought me back to the seat and they sacrificed some other poor kid. Watching Killer Clowns From Outer Space years later did not help me at all! Dumb as it may be it scared the hell out of me! Clowns are the minions of the Devil!
2. Black widow spiders. Yes. Until a few years ago one of the voices in my head had me convinced that if I dared to step on one it would roll over on its back and bite through the sole of my shoe. Leaving me to die a slow painful death.
3. Mice. I just don't like the idea of getting bit and ending up with some nasty infection. Which WILL happen.
4. People in large groups (large being 2 or more people) This includes but is not limited to hospital tours.
5. Victoria Crown Pigeons. I'm sorry but when a bird comes in a crate plastered with warning lables on every side telling me "DANGER! DO NOT ANNOY" that is one animal I am NOT going to mess with. I have even witnessed these birds running down keepers and beating them till their wing buds were bloody. Their beady little red eyes don't make them appear friendly either.
6. Zombies. I never liked zombie movies. They seem so hopeless. Like if the whole world turned to zombies you will turn too. You are not going to get away. You're really not. They will get you . You are doomed. So I chose not to watch. Then Sarah told me to look up zombies on the CDC website and I found out they ACTUALLY have a zombie survival plan!!! OMG! The government sees zombies as a very real threat. Real enough to come up with a plan. I have seen zombie movies! It never ends well! Like I really needed another reason to lose sleep at night! Thanks a whole hell of a lot CDC!
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