I start my 3rd trimester on Thursday. I am overjoyed because I am that much closer to meeting my baby but am finding there are some things those pregnancy know-it-all books left out.
First off I would like to know who's definition of "magical" are we using? I didn't find fatigue that bordered on comatose magical. Morning sickness that lasted 24 hours a day for 2+ months was also not magical. I will admit that once that passed pregnancy was not bad. I wasn't twirling in a meadow like the chicks in the magazines but I was doing good according to my doctor.
I am still waiting on my pregnancy glow. I want to know when is this supposed to happen and what does it look like? Cause the closest I have come to "glowing" is my skin unable to make up it's mind on whether it wants to be oily and shiny or dry and flaky. I will suddenly be broken out like I came down with chicken pox! Is this glow they talk about break out red? If so I am defiantly there.
I have decided if ever I wanted to invest in the stock market I would put all my money into Tums and panty liners because I couldn't get through pregnancy without them. Who knew ANYTHING you eat or drink can and probably will give you indigestion? I got it from water! I was expecting cravings in the middle of the night for things like ice cream and Chinese food. I wake up in the middle of the night and find myself hurdling my husband and running over cats while making a mad dash to the bathroom to pee for the 3rd time this hour and frantically searching for the Tums because the air I swallowed gave me heartburn.
My husband gets MAJOR points for being patient and supportive through all this. My belly button keeps threatening to pop out and our son likes to try to help it along. Shawn was watching Ben push on my belly and observed that, "maybe once he gets it to pop all the way out it means he's done...like a turkey." I would have been irritated by that except I was wondering the same thing.
I am lucky enough to have a cold in this stage of my pregnancy and this is where I started believing panty liners are the worlds greatest invention. Turns out sneezing can lead to unwelcome surprises. Like peeing yourself a little every time you do it. And woman may you never be more than 2 feet away from a bathroom if you have multiple sneezes in a row because you may pee more than a little! Sharing this with my husband made him laugh till he almost peed a little. Laughing at him, laughing at me caused me to snort which I have never done but was ladylike and feminine I'm sure.
I stopped being able to see my feet without effort a while ago and so painting my toe nails is not happening anytime soon. Shawn is a good husband offered to pay for me to have them done and even offered to sit with me so I didn't have to go by myself. In the interest of saving money I just asked him if he would do my toes for me. He hesitated but agreed. When I saw how uneven he had clipped them I opted to skip the polish and pay the money to have them done.
Everything I read told me that if you eat lots of fiber and drink lots of water you can avoid having pregnancy hemorrhoids. So I followed that to the letter. Turns out that is not exactly true. If your child thinks you are getting too comfortable, he can at any given moment, sit on those all important veins that do things like supply blood to the lower half of your body. This will cause your legs to suddenly go numb AND you will develop hemorrhoids. Having this conversation with our doctor at our last check up was awkward enough without it giving both my doctor and husband a bad case of the giggles. Shawn assures me it was the way I presented the situation. On the up side, I found out there is no topic off limits between me and my husband. I am defiantly married to the right person! Eat fiber they said. You won't have problems they said. I guess no one told Ben.
I highly suspect Shawn carries an amazon gene and that is why Ben is on the big side. I don't think he gets it from me. I am border-line pygmy height. And I talked to Benjamin and asked him to stay small so he would be easier to push out. Our son is growing at a rate of 2 weeks ahead of schedule (my due date is right, my kid is just big). I swear he is using that leverage to hang on to my ribs and push on my bladder. He is making good use out of every inch of space he has. He has rearranged all my organs up in my chest so he can have all my abdomen to himself. While this is all well and good for him it is making it difficult to breath. It's magical.
I can't wait to see how my labor plays out. Everyone is telling me to get an epidural. First off I don't like people telling me what I have to do during my pregnancy and delivery. I pay the doctor for his advice and just tune everyone else's unsolicited advice out. And I know I would be that person who they struggle to get the catheter for the epidural in only to hear the BeepBeepBeep of the machine signaling the medication has run out just as the doctor tells me it's time to start pushing.
Magical :)
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